Relationships off camera

 Fair warning, not a relationship expert but someone who is about to celebrate 2 years of marriage.

For all the girls out there, being in a relationship with a guy and then actually living with a guy are two completely different things. They are 100% messy, unorganised and irresponsible. It annoyed the hell out of me and still does sometimes. Social media sometimes shows that all the men we see on camera are the most reliable and organized creatures and that our husbands should be like that.

I created a lot of trouble for myself thinking, my husband should be doing this, he should be responsible and as much as I try to teach him about it, I can’t help it, it’s a newer concept to him and it is gonna take some time. Appreciate their efforts and stop comparing your spouses with internet spouses.

Social media also depicts a very glamorous picture of married life and even if it does not, desi girls already have a lot of expectations from their married life which creates a lot of trouble later. Expecting your spouse to be a certain way or act a certain way or care for you a certain based on your expectations or something you saw on instagram is quite unfair.

Why do I use the word unfair ? Because I am sure if your spouse loves you, they care about you, maybe their way of showing it is different and you are not acknowledging it, you are just wrapped in your own bubble. Why are they not showing it the way that husband showed it to his wife? Everybody’s love language is different and if you have not communicated what your love language is, how are they supposed to know?

Nobody’s life is as perfect as seen on instagram. Every couple fights, every couple has arguments and that is something I knew before. What I learnt in my 2 years of marriage is yes you will fight, you will make mistakes and you will mess up over and over and over again and so will your spouse. What makes your relationship last is forgiving and moving on. Trust me, holding grudges is not worth it, not just for your relationship but for yourself. Small arguments and mistakes are meant to be lessons and to make your relationship stronger. It is so much easier and lighter to let go, I am someone who holds grudges but realised it now that it’s just a burden. 

But that does not mean that I will be a pushover, compromising and then compromising on your self esteem and self respect are two different things which women often confuse. I am a forgiving person, I will forgive my spouse even when they hurt me, because I know sometimes I hurt them as well, it happens, but I won’t forget when I am being done wrong Nah ah, I will forgive but I won’t forget.