Manual for living with in laws

 All of us girls are taught to cook, clean and what not for when we get married, but why isn't there like a manual for when you have to start living with your in-laws ?

I mean if I get an admission in university, I get a rule book but I don't get one when I am about to LIVE with new and different people now ?

So consider this a guide, a manual or a rule book for all those girls who are going to get married or are married and finding it hard to survive and thrive.

1. NEVER be oversmart, nobody asked you to do anything? Don't do it. Just DON’T, it's not a competition you won't get extra points for attempting a question that wasn't compulsory in the first place.

2. Attendance is important, again not compulsory but crucial. Spend time with your in-laws, don’t think of it as a responsibility but just try and understand your family a bit better, what they like, dislike,what are their habits and how usually things are being done around.

3. While spending time with in-laws, make sure to NEVER compromise on the time that you spend with your husband, don't shy away from going out for dinners and ice cream, not just for the sole purpose of going out, but to spend time with each other to understand each other better.

4. There's no right or wrong way, at least not always. Maybe you saw things being done in a different way at your house, and maybe your in-laws do things differently, do how they do it sometimes and do how you like to do the other.

5. Create and maintain proper and strict boundaries from the first day, that doesn't mean not allowing anybody to even enter your room, that just means having privacy with yourself, your things and between you and your husband, and speaking up when you don't like how and what is being said to and about you and your family, don't let anybody push your boundaries thinking oh it's only my first month I shouldn't be arguing.

6. Never let an argument leave your space, keep the issues and anger in the bedroom. Don't discuss and share the issues you both are having with anyone, not even to your parents or siblings or friends, because not everyone is well wishes and also what you guys are going through only you know it, someone's perspective might only just add to the misery. The only other perspective that you need to know is your husband's. 

Of course this doesn't apply to extreme cases, with toxic and abusive partners but with little issues and everyday problems, try and keep it between the two of you and resolve because I am damn sure you wouldn't like it if your husband shared your argument with his parents or siblings.